This post is a little wordy and not crammed full of pretty pictures as per the norm. Bear with me.
Not that anyone was paying attention… but yes, there was a pretty substantial interruption in regular programming here on Minnow + Co. from late fall until the beginning of 2014. I feel like I maaaaaybe sort of owe you an explanation. I’ll keep it as short as possible.
First, my hours at my day job increased. Yes, I go to a normal job four days a week and do normal, boring things that don’t include washi tape. As much as I’d like for it to be so, my days are not a 24/7 carnival of pretty DIY projects, confetti, fringe scissors and photo shoots. I like getting the green light when I swipe my card at the grocery store, to the day gig is a must. Can’t be helped. (For now… mwah ha ha.)
Second, I also started posting more often on DIY Network’s Made + Remade, which was AWESOME. (Yes, I blow up your FB, IG and Twitter feeds sharing those projects.) I’m super duper lucky to be a contributor with DIY Network and I’ll give ‘em as much as they want from me. I can’t help myself – I’m DIY addicted.
You probably know where this mea culpa is headed now, right? Day job + lots of contributor DIY projects + being a wife and mommy = something had to give. Because we’re a family on a budget, the thing that gave was the piece that wasn’t bringing home the bacon – the blog. This blog is where I get to be me, unfiltered, so it’s been hard to slide that to the backburner, trust me. Don’t think for a moment that I haven’t been itching to get back to being the fantastic goober that I am for the whole world to see. I’m working on trying to figure out a way for Minnow + Co. to bring home the bacon, so I can post regulary. Mmmm. Bacon. Wait, no – money. But… mmmm. Bacon.
Balance has never been easy for me. I want to do EVERYTHING, every single little thing, right now. I have this crazy singleminded determination to make each thing I do absolutely exceptional… and I try to apply that focus to EVERYTHING. All at once. It’s not particularly reasonable. Or healthy. It’s downright absurd. I’m still learning how to live in a way that doesn’t have the gas pedal pinned ALL THE TIME, but these are lessons that feel completely counterintuitive to me. You know that feeling you get when Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us” comes on when you’re in the car alone and you start bumping to the beat and within a few seconds you feel dang near invincible? (Oh, stop it, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t even try to deny it.) That’s my sweet spot. I know how to HUSTLE. And I like it. Hustle is what’s paid off for me. Doing audacious things doesn’t scare me, accepting a boring life does.
But….. I’ve learned that I can’t be the career-driven overachiever I’ve always been AND be the kind of wife and mommy I want to be at the same time. So for a few months, instead of working until 2am to do EVERYTHING I wanted to do in a day, only to wake up at 5am the next day to start all over again, I went to bed at 11pm. The sacrifice was posting here. The bonus was that I was 75% less cranky. Twenty years from now, in all likelihood, no one will remember the few months I didn’t post, but my daughter will probably remember the time I spent with her sledding, playing dress up, making cookies, and “hiding” under a blanket with her. And even if she doesn’t know the reason, she can sense that I’ve been more patient and attentive at bedtime, instead of rushing the job so I can race off to work into the wee hours of the morning. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I need her love more than I need five posts a week. Know what I mean?
Next week, I head to Alt Summit SLC as an Alt Representative. I plan to soak up as much wisdom and goodness as I can, and come home crammed full of creative initiative and new BFFs. I know what my goals are…. but I also know that whatever comes from my crazy amazing trip will have to be balanced with recognizing that no matter how much I wish it were true, I do not actually possess superpowers that allow me to do it ALL.
Someday, I hope that I can go full time on producing a body of work that fulfills and nurtures my ambition and drive. Work that allows me to stretch and push myself creatively. I love creating content that scares me, and then makes me proud that I hit publish.
For now, I work on balance. I dream of BIG THINGS. I love my people with a fierceness of heart that’s like a hurricane. I do silly dances alone in the car as I contemplate the bigness of the future. I pour my heart out into my keyboard and hope you understand.
So yeah, mind that gap. It was a long one, but if you’ll just step over it and not look back, I’ll do my best to keep the path smooth and even from here on out.